The Mommy Diaries: my list of confessions

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a perfect mother, and I don’t pretend to be either. I don’t subscribe to the notion that we are on this earth to pledge our time, efforts, money and all other resources to strive towards achieving supermom status {Related Post: SuperMom: 3 reasons why the title is overrated.}. But I do believe in giving credit where it’s due, and the credit I rarely give myself I will give now, when I say that while I may not be (or want to be) a supermom, I am a good mom, and sometimes a really good mom, and that’s enough for me (and my kids). 

But here’s the thing, even really good moms have bad days – and I seem to have more than my fair share. Amidst all the things I think I do really well as a mom and that I enjoy doing, are those things I confess to being really bad at or doing just for my own sanity. We all have a list of these mommy confessions – no, don’t deny it, I know you’ve got a list. Mine goes something like this…

It sometimes feels good to leave the kids and head to work.

I sometimes sit in the toilet longer than I need to, just to try and squeeze in some quiet “me” time (all the while counting down to when the kids find me).

I sometimes hear my youngest moan or cry at night, but wait for another minute or two before getting up, in the hope that my hubby wakes up and gets up first!

When I talk to my kids after a scolding, I hug them and cry because I feel so bad.

If I don’t want to share my chocolate, I tell my kids it contains nuts.

I sometimes think I try harder to be a good mom, an involved mom, because I work full-time.

I sometimes tell my kids its later than it really is in the hope I can get an earlier night (or catch up on some series)!

I’ve used the boogieman to scare my kids into listening.

I tell my kids there’s no more data when I don’t feel like flipping through the ShowMax menu.

I sometimes laugh when my kids fall off the bed or off chairs.

I tell my kids not to do it when their plastic table becomes their canvas, but I don’t let them see me smile.

I sometimes imitate my kids when they moan and cry in the mall for things I said they cannot have.

I’ve forgotten to give my parents my kids’ bags when they dropped them at daycare for me, and had to make the trip to drop it anyway.

I sent my baby to daycare without properly checking her bag, and she didn’t have enough nappies that day!

I pop my kids in the car and sometimes knock their heads – accidentally, I swear!

My kids spend more time with me in the mall than we do in the park. 😦

I’m bad at making good on my threats – I tell my girls no more treats or surprises until they improve their behaviour, but then come home from work with goodies for them.

Most days cereal bars are easier to give them for breakfast than making cereal and waiting for them to finish it.

I let the bad words slip every now and then, especially while driving, and find myself needing to apologise to my children for using the words “shit” and “asshole”.

I didn’t plan ahead enough for Grade R like I told myself I would.

So that is my list (or part thereof anyway) of my bad mommy moments. Those moments of anger, frustration, mommy-monster madness, and wishing I did better, that mix with those moments of laughter, gratitude, sheer bliss and thankfulness that as a parent I am present and involved. From the I got this! to the What the hell am I doing? and everything in between, they’re moments that are ever present in my motherhood journey, and you know what? I am totally okay with it. 

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Featured image compliments of Unsplash | Photophrapher: Shalone Cason

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2 thoughts on “The Mommy Diaries: my list of confessions

  1. sofiyawmn says:

    My daughter has a hard time eating her food. She likes to throw it to the floor, and sometimes pick it up and eat it. Sometimes when I’m so tired, I just let her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Kaleidoscope Effect Blog says:

      LOL! This is funny. Don’t worry, I’m sure we all do the same. My almost 5yr old did the same when something dropped on the floor – she picked it up quickly, blew on it and ate it. I just watched and was like “eerrr, okay…”. I’m sure she counted down too, like 3-second rule!

      Like

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